But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
Isaiah 40:31
(rest of text found here)
With so many things happening recently, I almost forgot the most important relationship that pulls me back to my feet when I fall and directs me through the more narrow and turbulent parts in life. Anxiety often captures my heart and then I start leading a panic-stricken life. One that constantly leaves you worrying even more at the end of the day and the cycle continues day after day. A renewed strength everyday is what I desire more than anything else at this moment in time...
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Friday, January 06, 2006
Emotions
The past few days had been fluctuations of emotions for me. Not too extreme ones though.
Being open...
SAG (Seeking after God)
Sarah has been a great sharing partner and I never knew that sharing could actually reinforced what God has conversed with you previously in Quiet time or any time at all whenever or wherever we see He has put his hand in.
Dreading the pre-schooling...
boring boring boring watercolour lessons. Ineffective and unhelpful.
AND!..Bidding for an extra mod..even though I thank God that I don't have ot plan for my core modules like the Arts n Soci people, planning is still not one of my strongest points.
Bringing on the Tears...
The movie Narnia with Sarah, Jin and Siew yen. Narnia had more Christian connotations than I expexcted. It's deifinitely a have to watch film. But I guess it's redundant saying this since I'm sure most peeps have already caught it. It turned on my water pipes almost throughout the whole movie... I guess it successfully portrayed how Christ sacrificed himself and died for us and the events that build up to it visually. 'Cos I'm more of a visual person than anything else, I'm more affected usually by what I see pictorially.
Anticipating the excitements...
for one, Mj's just booked his BTT. Hope he passes! Can't wait when he starts to drive.
I'm getting a new car! yay...
Think it's the Chevrolet Aveo. I can't help feeling that God's hand was in this.
Firstly, it's sort weird my father bidded for the COE at 8K. Which, for those people who study the market, is really really Really LOW.
And, for those who know, my stay in the hostel is rather alike to that of a guest and a hotel only that I have to clean my mess after myself. So it's rather a waste of money for someone who stays there without eveneating the food there more then three time throughout the semester(considering last sem).
And lastly, I had already left everything to God and accepted my fate when my dad told me he's not going to raise the amount of the COE any higher and if we don't get it. I would just have to travel all the way to school and back. I sort of told myself everything would work out if I left it in His hands and it miraculously did!
Being open...
SAG (Seeking after God)
Sarah has been a great sharing partner and I never knew that sharing could actually reinforced what God has conversed with you previously in Quiet time or any time at all whenever or wherever we see He has put his hand in.
Dreading the pre-schooling...
boring boring boring watercolour lessons. Ineffective and unhelpful.
AND!..Bidding for an extra mod..even though I thank God that I don't have ot plan for my core modules like the Arts n Soci people, planning is still not one of my strongest points.
Bringing on the Tears...
The movie Narnia with Sarah, Jin and Siew yen. Narnia had more Christian connotations than I expexcted. It's deifinitely a have to watch film. But I guess it's redundant saying this since I'm sure most peeps have already caught it. It turned on my water pipes almost throughout the whole movie... I guess it successfully portrayed how Christ sacrificed himself and died for us and the events that build up to it visually. 'Cos I'm more of a visual person than anything else, I'm more affected usually by what I see pictorially.
Anticipating the excitements...
for one, Mj's just booked his BTT. Hope he passes! Can't wait when he starts to drive.
I'm getting a new car! yay...
Think it's the Chevrolet Aveo. I can't help feeling that God's hand was in this.
Firstly, it's sort weird my father bidded for the COE at 8K. Which, for those people who study the market, is really really Really LOW.
And, for those who know, my stay in the hostel is rather alike to that of a guest and a hotel only that I have to clean my mess after myself. So it's rather a waste of money for someone who stays there without eveneating the food there more then three time throughout the semester(considering last sem).
And lastly, I had already left everything to God and accepted my fate when my dad told me he's not going to raise the amount of the COE any higher and if we don't get it. I would just have to travel all the way to school and back. I sort of told myself everything would work out if I left it in His hands and it miraculously did!
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
100 DAYS!
I can't believe we are 100 days into it already...Firstly, I never thought I'd be able to find someone so miraculously wonderful
Secondly, I really don't feel or think it's infatuation. It's something more real...
Having someone to make you see a whole new perspective and having a power over you that normal friends wouldn't have.
I'm just amazed that I would have learnt so much spiritually from someone who perhaps isn't even aware because of the perpetual rejections and denials.
It's the dawning of realization of what God is able to give you.. showing you how much he has and can change your life, whether significant or not... it's the realization of the power God has and how He is able to inflict joy or pain when it's best to.
During the few days in preparing for the powerpoint slides for him, it really triggered what I presently take for granted, make me re-focus some priorities and even remember what he actually said. It's not that I'm a bad listener but I sometimes shut my ears to things I really don't want to hear. It's unhealthy and needs a change...
Spent the evening at NYDC and attempted to relive the 2 special experiences yet again. It was a different feeling..not one of anxiety and anticipation but relief and blissfulness...
for the very first time is received flowers... Blue roses...no fake ones(private joke w Sa)! hahaha...
Monday, January 02, 2006
Head on towards 2006
New years' eve
Badminton with Sarah, Jinny and Huishan. The badminton game, as usual, was at Toa Payoh. But it has been such a long time since i was on time. Rather I was early. haha... Badminton was fun 'cos we were laughing at the many funny moves we were coming up with. But unlike most of the games I've had, I didn't end up with any muscles aching. Need a more vigorous workout!
Had Spicy Ramen with Jinny while Sarah ate some duck noodles i think. Jinny's the queen of spiciness la. I was already tearing and she was still happily adding more chilli into hers.
Like Sarah, I felt I haven't been sharing so closely with these two close friends for the longest time and it really felt good after that. We laughed alot alot...
Rushed home to bathe and then to meet MJ after that to look for his burner thing. After an unfruitful search, we settled down to a KFC dinner and rushed back to pasir ris to buy stuff for the countdown with Wing, Andrew, Ridza, Desmond and Cheryl that night before NTUC closed.
Still can't believe I read Sparklers as Sparkling wine. Sheesh!
It was good that Cheryl brought many packets over...heh
We were the first to get to Pasir Ris Park and we found a good empty BBQ spot.
5 4 3 2 1!
New years day
Happy New Year!
So fun! We threw the sparklers into the sea and like cheryl described it, it really looked like shooting stars. So beautiful...
We stuffed ourselves we too much food that night. Can't believe Wing made such a big container of sandwiches...
She good at persuading us to eat i tell you...but most were quite tasty and unique la.
Too bad Quan Bao didnt' get to join us...
That morning on my bed, many thoughts concerning the new year ran through my head before I 'konked out'.
The day after NY day
Which is now...
Getting ready for the celebration of 100th day with MJ. Was instructed to wear 'nice nice'. hahaha...
Badminton with Sarah, Jinny and Huishan. The badminton game, as usual, was at Toa Payoh. But it has been such a long time since i was on time. Rather I was early. haha... Badminton was fun 'cos we were laughing at the many funny moves we were coming up with. But unlike most of the games I've had, I didn't end up with any muscles aching. Need a more vigorous workout!
Had Spicy Ramen with Jinny while Sarah ate some duck noodles i think. Jinny's the queen of spiciness la. I was already tearing and she was still happily adding more chilli into hers.
Like Sarah, I felt I haven't been sharing so closely with these two close friends for the longest time and it really felt good after that. We laughed alot alot...
Rushed home to bathe and then to meet MJ after that to look for his burner thing. After an unfruitful search, we settled down to a KFC dinner and rushed back to pasir ris to buy stuff for the countdown with Wing, Andrew, Ridza, Desmond and Cheryl that night before NTUC closed.
Still can't believe I read Sparklers as Sparkling wine. Sheesh!
It was good that Cheryl brought many packets over...heh
We were the first to get to Pasir Ris Park and we found a good empty BBQ spot.
5 4 3 2 1!
New years day
Happy New Year!
So fun! We threw the sparklers into the sea and like cheryl described it, it really looked like shooting stars. So beautiful...
We stuffed ourselves we too much food that night. Can't believe Wing made such a big container of sandwiches...
She good at persuading us to eat i tell you...but most were quite tasty and unique la.
Too bad Quan Bao didnt' get to join us...
That morning on my bed, many thoughts concerning the new year ran through my head before I 'konked out'.
The day after NY day
Which is now...
Getting ready for the celebration of 100th day with MJ. Was instructed to wear 'nice nice'. hahaha...
Friday, December 30, 2005
Family
i love family gatherings...esp. christmas and new year ones
The chit-chatter of catching up on each others' lives, the screams of little cousins running all over the house, the smell of delicious food rising into your nostrils, and because it's christmas, the beautifully wrapped presents sitted below the christmas tree...
It's certainly a wonderful sight.
I anticipate every gathering almost everytime.
But this year's Christmas gathering was one that was rather special to me. I had someone with me to share with me the wonderful feast not only for the eyes but for the tummy as well...yum yum.
We had games for the children, dances by the children for the adults, as well as food ( which by the way, consisted of chilli crab, KongBaBao, pumpkin soup, BBQed prawns and chicken and much much more!)
Family is something that I hold close to my heart. They are the ones that see you through and know you well. Your bad habits can't be hidden from them. Like how some people though adults would still bite their nails, suck their thumbs to sleep or even watch cartoon network...
Your family would know...
Perhaps one little lesson to learn from here is never to step on their toes?
The chit-chatter of catching up on each others' lives, the screams of little cousins running all over the house, the smell of delicious food rising into your nostrils, and because it's christmas, the beautifully wrapped presents sitted below the christmas tree...
It's certainly a wonderful sight.
I anticipate every gathering almost everytime.
But this year's Christmas gathering was one that was rather special to me. I had someone with me to share with me the wonderful feast not only for the eyes but for the tummy as well...yum yum.
We had games for the children, dances by the children for the adults, as well as food ( which by the way, consisted of chilli crab, KongBaBao, pumpkin soup, BBQed prawns and chicken and much much more!)
Family is something that I hold close to my heart. They are the ones that see you through and know you well. Your bad habits can't be hidden from them. Like how some people though adults would still bite their nails, suck their thumbs to sleep or even watch cartoon network...
Your family would know...
Perhaps one little lesson to learn from here is never to step on their toes?
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Christmas
Christmas In Heaven
I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below with tiny lights like heaven's stars reflecting on the snow. The sight is so spectacular please wipe away that tear for I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear but the sounds of music can't compare with the Christmas choir up here. I have no words to tell you of the joy their voices bring for it is beyond description to hear the angels sing. I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart for I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year. I can't tell you of the splendor or the peace here in this place Can you just imagine Christmas with our Savior face to face? I'll ask him to lift your spirit as I tell you of your love so then pray for one another as you lift your eyes above. Please let your hearts be joyful and let your spirit sing for I am spending Christmas in heaven and I'm walking with the King.
Wanda Bencke"copyright 1998"
Saturday, December 24, 2005
What lies beyond
There's always a time when....
we seem to bypass all the things around us never have time to stop and think.
we are seemingly doing so well we forget who gives.
we seem to forget and think that money is able to get us anything. Even to the extend to being able to buy us happiness...
we also seem to have periods in life where we think we are living by our own rules.
I realised that occasionally, after such periods, I feel drained no matter how long that period of elation lasts.
Sometimes
even though we need someone to bring our heads back from the clouds, we need someone to bring us back up there again 'cos we know we can't live without being up there.
we need stops in life to keep us going on, we still need a little spark after that to ignite our engines again.
we realise that we have God-given person just beside us that has always been there all along, we really need someone to open our eyes to know if we are really cared for or have we been booted aside and left in this world all alone.
you know you always have the Someone that always looks over your shoulder before you cross the road and reminds you to listen to your conscience and help out that helpless old lady crossing the road...
It's more than just being safe and taken care of like a possessed little bird with broken-wings, it's the feeling of a eagle with wings spread free heading towards the sunset knowing what lies beyond.
there is just that veil over our eyes that warps our world and we try to make sense of it all. It's always better not to think too much...
It's better to just know if we have a someone.
we seem to bypass all the things around us never have time to stop and think.
we are seemingly doing so well we forget who gives.
we seem to forget and think that money is able to get us anything. Even to the extend to being able to buy us happiness...
we also seem to have periods in life where we think we are living by our own rules.
I realised that occasionally, after such periods, I feel drained no matter how long that period of elation lasts.
Sometimes
even though we need someone to bring our heads back from the clouds, we need someone to bring us back up there again 'cos we know we can't live without being up there.
we need stops in life to keep us going on, we still need a little spark after that to ignite our engines again.
we realise that we have God-given person just beside us that has always been there all along, we really need someone to open our eyes to know if we are really cared for or have we been booted aside and left in this world all alone.
you know you always have the Someone that always looks over your shoulder before you cross the road and reminds you to listen to your conscience and help out that helpless old lady crossing the road...
It's more than just being safe and taken care of like a possessed little bird with broken-wings, it's the feeling of a eagle with wings spread free heading towards the sunset knowing what lies beyond.
there is just that veil over our eyes that warps our world and we try to make sense of it all. It's always better not to think too much...
It's better to just know if we have a someone.
Friday, December 16, 2005
For what it is...
I feel so blessed... SO BLESSED the past few days.
I celebrated my birhtday with MJ, with Dorcas, with Sarah, Jinny and Siew Yen and tomorrow with Verna, Violet and a few other peeps.
So far... I can genuinely say that I've received the best presents anyone could have. The things I have received are not of anything tangible. They are of those that comes from the heart.
Every single one of my friends who celebrated with me showed me how much love a friend can give and get.
These are the times I feel I have much to learn as a friend. As cheesy and cliche as all these sound, all I've said are true.
From MingJie 3 surprises that came from the heart with so so so much effort. None of which were bought.
From Dorcas, knowing my brand conscious weaknesses, endowed me with an expensive gift.
From Jinny, Sarah and Siew Yen - It wasn't the 2 gifts that touched me but the effort they put in to make the day such a fun and great one. Though I was embarrassed, I felt I haven't had so much fun in a long time.
For these people, I really Thank the Lord for it is only is His power I am able to receive and take part in such blessings. I know that friends are special gems and sometimes we, at least for me, tend to take them for granted. Even in such blissful times, I feel that I have learnt and seen certain aspects of relationships God wanted me to see. There is definitely the need to be more aware of the things around me to remember how
I celebrated my birhtday with MJ, with Dorcas, with Sarah, Jinny and Siew Yen and tomorrow with Verna, Violet and a few other peeps.
So far... I can genuinely say that I've received the best presents anyone could have. The things I have received are not of anything tangible. They are of those that comes from the heart.
Every single one of my friends who celebrated with me showed me how much love a friend can give and get.
These are the times I feel I have much to learn as a friend. As cheesy and cliche as all these sound, all I've said are true.
From MingJie 3 surprises that came from the heart with so so so much effort. None of which were bought.
From Dorcas, knowing my brand conscious weaknesses, endowed me with an expensive gift.
From Jinny, Sarah and Siew Yen - It wasn't the 2 gifts that touched me but the effort they put in to make the day such a fun and great one. Though I was embarrassed, I felt I haven't had so much fun in a long time.
For these people, I really Thank the Lord for it is only is His power I am able to receive and take part in such blessings. I know that friends are special gems and sometimes we, at least for me, tend to take them for granted. Even in such blissful times, I feel that I have learnt and seen certain aspects of relationships God wanted me to see. There is definitely the need to be more aware of the things around me to remember how
Sunday, December 04, 2005
progressing...
Woke up this morning without a goal in mind.
Though I have a list of things to do,
I just feel like a potato couch.
Perhaps this I what I call restlessness.
Finished my exams not long ago,
I squint at the clock before dawning on my specs,
For the fear of being late.
Being late for what?!
Perhaps withdrawal symptoms is what I'm experiencing.
However, when I turn in my heels and look back,
Perhaps this is a much needed rest.
A semester of work to do had seemed like just yesterday.
A time to rest, a time to heal,
Perhaps this is what I really should do...
"Bullocks to you" catching up,
"To the thrash bags" you old pile of checklists,
Just wait and see,
I'm going to start to have some sinless fun.
To the Father in Heaven that I love so much,
I'm here to receive your word,
with obedience and humility.
So VCF Anntic, Here I come!
There is no Perhaps about that
Ok...Im going off for Anntic camp from tomorrow till the 10th.
Details coming soon!
Though I have a list of things to do,
I just feel like a potato couch.
Perhaps this I what I call restlessness.
Finished my exams not long ago,
I squint at the clock before dawning on my specs,
For the fear of being late.
Being late for what?!
Perhaps withdrawal symptoms is what I'm experiencing.
However, when I turn in my heels and look back,
Perhaps this is a much needed rest.
A semester of work to do had seemed like just yesterday.
A time to rest, a time to heal,
Perhaps this is what I really should do...
"Bullocks to you" catching up,
"To the thrash bags" you old pile of checklists,
Just wait and see,
I'm going to start to have some sinless fun.
To the Father in Heaven that I love so much,
I'm here to receive your word,
with obedience and humility.
So VCF Anntic, Here I come!
There is no Perhaps about that
Ok...Im going off for Anntic camp from tomorrow till the 10th.
Details coming soon!
Friday, December 02, 2005
Paradox : Busy chilling
So busy enjoying myself the last three days. Straight after I ended my exams, I got down to some serious chilling.
Tuesday
Went out with Sarah, Jinny and Siew Yen for a classic Pizza Hut Lunch straight after the last paper. We sat there for 3 hours just chatting away. As usual, Jinny had her share of stories. I'm still traumatised about her horrific details about some stuff she said...
*sits in a daze obviously trumatized*
After the satisfying lunch, we went GV Plaza and watched 'Just like Heaven'. I felt that though the show was sweet, it was very cliche for most parts. But Jin! haiz...GO read her blog. Hahaha...
Learnt a decent game of pool skills from MJ in Tampines after that. It was quite fun la. But don't want to admit to him. :P
Wednesday
This day was my Physical workout day lor!
Went to school in the late morning for lunch and started working on my hostel room a.s.a.p.
You see, I had to move out of my hostel room due to some vacation stay stuff going on during the hols. Anyway, I'm moving to another room next semester 'cos my roomie is moving out. Sad..I loved how my room was orientated to the road. There was more privacy lo...
Jogged with MJ in Pasir Ris Park for a stunning 3.2KM after that. 3.2KM non-stop leh. 3.2KM non-stop leh!!
It's been a year since I ran already so even though 3.2KM doesn't seem like a feat, to us, it was a feat for me! Think the last time running was training for Hockey or something. It was definitely the company lo... as Sarah and Mj always say. Thanks MJ!
Thursday
Went to the Science Centre with Sarah today to visit 'THE ART OF STAR WAS" exhibition. I am recommonding anyone who is reading this entry to go visit it! It was so so so so FUN! There are three places I will highlight about the place.
First was the FOYERING. The FOYERING ROOM where videos are played back and sounds are recorded to fit the scenes. Sarah and I fooled around with it and laughed till our stomach was aching (at least for mine).
The next was the Star was GYM ROOM. There were many interactive games in there. There was this game where the Brain activity was measured by a band around the head and some electron and neuron movements. And from these two elements, our brain waves could move the ball on the table without any direct contact
with it. I round the first round and after a tough battle of the brainwaves, Sarah won the second round! haha...Apparently, from this game I learnt that Sarah don't think much! haha...Jz joking la. 
To know what I really mean just talk to me. I'll tell you. Hahaha..
Went with Sarah to Tecman to buy some materials and I got a book called Iron man for my Mum's Birthday. Sarah's recommendation. It's about this Paster who was this gang head in the past. A living testimony. Anyone interested contact me yah? Be glad to lend it to you with my MUM's permission...
Met MJ in town for shopping then a movie after that. He was late because he was up to some Mysterious business. But had so much fun with him. He was like Sarah..so accomodating to my slow walking pace due to muscle ache with compliments to the 3.2KM jog the day before.
Watched 'Chicken Little'. It was hilarious! We were laughing so estatically. Esp. me i think.
The chilling so far was all with no regrets. I enjoyed every minute of it.
SHIOK!
Tuesday
Went out with Sarah, Jinny and Siew Yen for a classic Pizza Hut Lunch straight after the last paper. We sat there for 3 hours just chatting away. As usual, Jinny had her share of stories. I'm still traumatised about her horrific details about some stuff she said...
*sits in a daze obviously trumatized*
After the satisfying lunch, we went GV Plaza and watched 'Just like Heaven'. I felt that though the show was sweet, it was very cliche for most parts. But Jin! haiz...GO read her blog. Hahaha...
Learnt a decent game of pool skills from MJ in Tampines after that. It was quite fun la. But don't want to admit to him. :P
Wednesday
This day was my Physical workout day lor!
Went to school in the late morning for lunch and started working on my hostel room a.s.a.p.
You see, I had to move out of my hostel room due to some vacation stay stuff going on during the hols. Anyway, I'm moving to another room next semester 'cos my roomie is moving out. Sad..I loved how my room was orientated to the road. There was more privacy lo...
Jogged with MJ in Pasir Ris Park for a stunning 3.2KM after that. 3.2KM non-stop leh. 3.2KM non-stop leh!!
It's been a year since I ran already so even though 3.2KM doesn't seem like a feat, to us, it was a feat for me! Think the last time running was training for Hockey or something. It was definitely the company lo... as Sarah and Mj always say. Thanks MJ!
Thursday
Went to the Science Centre with Sarah today to visit 'THE ART OF STAR WAS" exhibition. I am recommonding anyone who is reading this entry to go visit it! It was so so so so FUN! There are three places I will highlight about the place.
First was the FOYERING. The FOYERING ROOM where videos are played back and sounds are recorded to fit the scenes. Sarah and I fooled around with it and laughed till our stomach was aching (at least for mine).
The next was the Star was GYM ROOM. There were many interactive games in there. There was this game where the Brain activity was measured by a band around the head and some electron and neuron movements. And from these two elements, our brain waves could move the ball on the table without any direct contact
with it. I round the first round and after a tough battle of the brainwaves, Sarah won the second round! haha...Apparently, from this game I learnt that Sarah don't think much! haha...Jz joking la. 
To know what I really mean just talk to me. I'll tell you. Hahaha..Went with Sarah to Tecman to buy some materials and I got a book called Iron man for my Mum's Birthday. Sarah's recommendation. It's about this Paster who was this gang head in the past. A living testimony. Anyone interested contact me yah? Be glad to lend it to you with my MUM's permission...
Met MJ in town for shopping then a movie after that. He was late because he was up to some Mysterious business. But had so much fun with him. He was like Sarah..so accomodating to my slow walking pace due to muscle ache with compliments to the 3.2KM jog the day before.
Watched 'Chicken Little'. It was hilarious! We were laughing so estatically. Esp. me i think.
The chilling so far was all with no regrets. I enjoyed every minute of it.
SHIOK!
